What is really dangerous about this Penis 2.0 is that there’s a huge number of autistic morons who claim to have something to do with reality, and believe that everything that comes out their ass should be labeled as “2.0″. “Wow, my crap smells different today – I’ll call it Shit 2.0″.


The Orifice 2.0
For example, I don’t understand (nor I am very interested in) what people could talk about at an “Office 2.0″ conference. I believe we can all admit that office tools are in an eternal pre-alpha and has a long way to come until we’ll have a stable 1.0. For Christ’s sake, am I the only one that has had it with word processors that always (and by default) know better than you what you meant by typing “-”, and not “–”? If only I was there to smack a keyboard in the head of the idiot that had for the first time the genius idea to “improve my productivity by auto-correcting my typing mistakes”.

The desktop tools for office are still retarded. Most of these suck an elephant’s cock. They’re all slow, unintuitive, rigid, and very temperamental about changing default settings (that, of course, if you can make it to the long expedition of getting to that unreachable check box).
Now these guys (and lots others), in the name of “online productivity & collaboration” are taking everything (or most things) on the web (see Google Docs and Zoho, etc.). Wow, that’s awesome. The desktop application that was almost completely integrated with my OS couldn’t satisfy half my needs, and now I am supposed to believe that a browser-based office suite will? Does anyone in the room is still listening to this? Doesn’t anyone feel abused?

I am big Wiki fan, if we must speak about “online collaboration”. However, we all know that the target of these tools hardly contains any individuals with non-technical education. And maybe this is the point that we are missing: why should every moron “collaborate and be productive online”? No matter what democracy tells you, we’re not fucking equal (and surely not with the same level of intellectual development).
So I can’t take things like Orifice 2.0 seriously until I see a 1.0 that has an at least 70%-to-30% rate of usefulness vs. annoyance. Right now we’re at about 10%-to-90% with most desktop tools, so good luck with the browser solution.
And another argument for this (for those of us who can edit a Wiki in plain-text mode): http://teddziuba.com/2008/09/a-web-os-are-you-dense.html.


The retarded playboy that thinks he is artistically inspired by the comments on his blog post where he wrote about the fact that he has grown pubic hair.
I’ve seen this commercial first on Romanian television, and I gotta say I was surprised to survive it. I was expecting some serious brain damage (although if it happened, I couldn’t confirm it, could I?) and probably muscular spasm after hearing one of the final lines: “I am …. The first 2.0 poet”.

Bitch, say what? Oh my fuckin’ God! Are you serious? Was this produced in a mental institution? It was enough for me to hear that the moron thinks that his downloads uptown and uploads downtown have anything to do with poetry. It was already abusing the fact that he is such an idiot to believe that he has a girlfriend “half the globe away” – dude, if she’s half the globe away you can call it whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean she won’t bang half of the neighborhood.

This guy is such an imbecile that it makes my brain hurt. Especially when he’s telling us that he sent a picture to his mom with a kid that looked just like his brother. Huh? Dude, maybe you should ask you’re mom what she’s been up lately, but he might just be your brother.
And still, he thinks he’s a god-damn poet. Now I know this is just a commercial. But am I supposed to take this shit seriously?

I don’t know that much about poetry, but I could never guessed that these guys need a versioning mechanism. What in the world should 2.0 mean for poetry? Will all poets have blogs and talk about their penises and occasionally brag about having crazy-ass-bitches girlfriends abroad? All poets should start learning about downloading (uptown) and uploading (downtown), do web casts and such? What exactly is it, ’cause I don’t get the point? Does any of these has anything, and I mean anything, to do with poetry?

I believe that these are two relevant examples related to STD 2.0 and the way it is spreading. Basically, wherever you turn your head, there’s a moron with the head up his ass trying to impress the crowd and that’s it – there’s no 2.0 about it. Is the same sales and marketing people, with the same autistic behavior, licking their own balls. Nothing new about it, so stop calling it 2.0.
We are not re-inventing everything (and we shouldn’t). We are not re-defining the world as we know it. This is just a lame show with fewer and fewer audience. So why don’t you guys just give us all a break and stop insulting our intelligence?

<method name="doSomething" static="true" return-type="void">
  <var name="var1" type="Integer">
  <if test="$var1==4">
    <then>
      <var name="service" type="IMyService" factory="MyServiceFactory"/>
      <call method="someServiceMethod" on-object="service" params="p1, p2, p3"/>
    </then>
  </if>
</method>

Of course, this whole thing will be extended in order to support any programming language and also to support scripting like Python and such. I just don’t understand how come no one saw the potential of this.
Another cool ideea is a platform for developing user interfaces. I mean, UI designers will just have to learn XML because in two years all UI will be developed using XML statements like this:

<groupbox title="some title">
  <label text="$getTextFromDb"/>
  <button caption="OK" on-button-click="#doSomthingElse()"/>
</groupbox>

This is really cool and maybe I can also offer support for JavaScript or VBScript so it’s almost like developing webapps, except that you can also build desktop applications . This of course will compete with HTML but I’m sure that it will kick ass because people are tired of HTML and XML is so much cooler. For the complete retards that just can’t live without HTML there will be support to use XSL that will be run half on the server and half on the client. After all, who the hell needs these standards that already have millions protocols, frameworks and tools to support them? Reinventing the wheel will always provide us with a better wheel, isn’t it?

One other great thing that we could do for the community is to replace the current linux shells with an XML equivalent. I am sure that people are really tired of bash and such tools so I think we really need to get some XML in there. I’m thinking about something like a shell that only accepts XML commands:

<command text="startx">
  <params>
    <param index="0" value="..."/>
    <param index="1" value="..."/>
    ..
  </params>
</content>

On the other hand, is never too late to consider an application server. Maybe something combined with all the ideas above. I mean, I’m sure that EVERYONE will love to have a platform where EVERYTHING can be done with XML. This means that ALL files are XML. No property files, no jar files, no image files (we’ll keep those in HEX format in the XML ), no CSS files. Basically nothing that cannot be parsed with an XML parser! No one will ever have to go through the pain of writing code anymore, except for XML code, and I think that is so cool that I’m getting a hardon.
Maybe if I get my friends together and analyze this we can create some sort of platform for PC, mobile, etc, that is completely portable. Something like Java but with an accent on XML. This means that no code will have to be developed, only pure XML. We will use XSLT to compile from XML to binary code, of course, so that we won’t have to write any code ourselves while we develop this.

Yes, I believe I’m gonna start implementing some of this stuff. People just have to understand: XML is better and is the only solution no matter what you want to do, and I also believe we are really far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away from getting the best out of XML.

Aaah, I almost forgot: Fuck you, Marcus!

For those of you too lazy to click the link and read the somehow obscene article, here’s the short version with “for dummies” explanations:
The title is “Google could save the world by going black”. Great! How? It appears that if Google will opt for a black background on the pages hosting their services, instead of the current white approach, it would make CRT screens consume less energy when a user will visit these pages (not that the CRT displays are a dying specie). As a natural consequence, there would be a worldwide energy savings in a value of about $75,000 per year. That’s right, not 75 millions, not 75 billions and definitely not 75 trillions – just seventy five thousands dollars a year.

Now for most people, including me, that’s enough cash to get a very good start in your family-life/career/business/etc. But what we are talking about here is a one-year time savings worldwide. Indeed every cent counts, but from this to saying that this would save the planet it’s a very long way. I would like to know how exactly is this sum of money involved into saving the world. Are we going to buy some stuff from the hardware store to create an ozone-problem-solving machine that hasn’t been invented yet? Are we going to get lots of tissues in order to absorb the water in the growing oceans? Will someone put this cash in bank so in 5000 years, through interest, we would have enough money to allocate for researchers trying to cure cancer or AIDS? What is the exact world-saving solution that would be adopted after saving this enormous amount of money or energy?

The most appropriate question would actually be: do you guys at TheInquirer live on this planet? Do you have any idea how much would be allocated from this sum for a person in year at the current world population? Also, have you ever thought that it is possible that you guys are consuming a lot more than that in hard-disk storage and internet bandwith with articles like this that say nothing?

After all, do you honestly believe that Google really gives a shit about such an amount of money? If I were Google I would have this message posted on each of my pages: We at Google are stealing $0.0000125 from your pocket YEARLY with this crappy white background (who the fuck ever approved this shit anyway?) – just let us know if you feel offended by this and we will change the background to black. I am pretty sure that there will be a couple of guys “feeling offended” and wanting a black background, but these guys will certainly not belong to the category of people that have brains.

TreeHugger at least had the decency to say about the number of saved kilowatts, and not to correlate this number with the world saving idea. It’s not that they do not have their guilt. Oh, they certainly do. First of all I don’t understand who the fuck approves this $1 researches to be posted on their website? And by the way, they also link to this blog, so it’s not even their study. Don’t you guys have an image or some standards to protect? I mean, did you just had to pick up on Google for no reason as the guy you are quoting, or what?

I am not a Google evangelist and I am pretty much interested about alternative energy, low-pollution and stuff like that. Honestly, I even feel bad when I have to put out my cigarette in an improper place. But this is completely pointless and it looks like it’s made by young ecologist wannabies trying to make their entrance in the ecological thing in order to get laid with lots of ecological young girls on some ecological mattresses with some ecological condoms.

However, an even bigger disappointment is that many important web communities have linked to this article and most of them insisted on also quoting the world-saving crap from the title. Well, a lot of the intelligent stuff out there was invented while sitting on a toilet, guys, but that has nothing to do with looking into the toilet for articles after you’re done sitting on it in the morning.